All things that we know in this world are aspects of energy, and emotional energy is the most volatile of the human makeup.
Uncontrolled emotions can be very destructive, and unseen undercurrents are not easily recognised. Thus we are all open to receiving an influx of negative energy – quite without realising it – unless we become aware of how things work.
This page looks at adjusting our attitude and behaviour, so as to afford sufficient protection against such misdirected energy, and is a useful formula to follow in our everyday lives.
1. Treat everything with respect
All animals and plants hold equal place and stature alongside humanity, as do the forces we are yet unable to see. To respect all things, seen or unseen, is to attract respect in return, and part of this is not to threaten or interfere with nature, nor try to manipulate things we are unable to control.
Some ancient cultures warned that if we abused our fellow creatures, they would one day turn on us, producing diseases that would eventually bring us to our senses, or result in our demise. We disregard this warning at our peril, for the dreadful diseases that have recently hit our food chain add weight to the truth of that warning. The severe increase in food allergies could also have resulted from such contaminated energy.
We all have to eat, but we do have choices of what we eat, and how we go about preparing it. Anything kept unnaturally, or slaughtered with cruelty and indifference, will produce a food poisoned by distress or fear – and it transfers this toxic energy to anything that consumes it. This is true of both animal and plant.
As individuals we can do much for our long term health by adjusting our approach to our food, and how we buy, prepare and eat it. In nearly all meals a life has been forfeited in order to sustain our own – so if we don’t feel inspired to do anything else, at least we can remember to be grateful?
2. Correct knowledge of self
What we feel and think penetrates the atmosphere, affecting others around us in the most subtle of ways. Knowing ourselves in real honesty is perhaps one of the strongest protections we have against obstructive energy.
Often we can be deeply affected by the opinions of others, especially our peers. Particularly when we are not sure of ourselves, and if their judgments are justified or not. When we know ourselves really well, we can be more sure of what is justified, and therefore less open to being emotionally upset by the attitude of others.
To know ourselves is to know our potential and our limitations, and have the freedom to work within these confines at our own pace. We can only develop ourselves beyond our normal capabilities, if we know what those capabilities are, and have confidence in our ability to achieve what we want.
3. Working with the tides of time
Any sailor knows that it is far easier to sail with the tide, and almost impossible to fight against it. In just the same way the solar and lunar tides are energy phases that can also work for or against us – all according to how we use them.
These phases align with the waxing and waning of the moon, and the turn of the seasons as the earth moves around the sun.
Plant growth is stimulated on a waxing moon, and slows down as it wanes. The Moon governs the movement of the tides, and is also recognised as having a significant affect on our emotions, – particularly in women. Mindful of these facts, some ancient religions advocated that, if new ventures were started on a waxing Moon, they were more likely to succeed.
The waxing of the Sun begins in March on the lst day of Spring and, although we may not realise it, the Sun has a much more dominant and long lasting affect on our lives, and ventures begun at that time are deemed by some to be the most productive. It is really rather silly that we call the 1st January the New Year, for it falls on the ‘darker side’ of the Sun, so maybe this explains why so many of our present day New Year resolutions seem to be doomed to failure?
For everything there is a season – a correct time to sow (waxing) and a correct time to reap (waning). It could help us considerably to be more aware of these ‘tides’, so that we don’t waste energy by fighting against the natural order of time.
4. Awareness of energy loss
Misdirected emotion is the most common cause of energy loss, normally through the solar plexus centre in the stomach area. It is important to be aware of how this occurs, and search for proper energy exchange and rapport within all personal contacts.
Silence conserves energy – continuous talking or noise dissipates it.
However, mutual discussion with those of common interest can build energy through natural exchange and rapport.
But this exchange must be mutual.
Those who talk without listening, not only dissipate energy but ‘feed’ off others. Those who cannot, or refuse to communicate also ‘feed’ off others – hoarding energy for themselves – and thus cause internal blockages through lack of release.
Proper exchange of energy is the natural ebb and flow of life, but a certain amount of time for peace and solace is essential for maintaining our inner strength.
5. Protection against unnecessary loss
As in all things, there are times we need to receive and times we need to give. Sometimes others need energy more than ourselves, and often this is because they are suffering from some inner emotional turmoil.
If we are really fit, well and happy, then we can afford to give some of our energy to them, for to cling onto it is equivalent to gorging ourselves on luxury food whilst watching others starve.
But we need to be aware of what is happening, for to share our only loaf of bread with others is kindness, but to give away all the food (energy) we have, is pure foolishness.
Those suffering from severe loss of energy on the physical level need to recuperate through rest, good food and sufficient sleep. Those suffering the same on the emotional or psychic level need the same, but in a different form.
Good food to them is the solid support of another; their rest comes from a calm but interested response, and a listening ear affords them time to cleanse themselves of their worries, so they can relieve the pain enough for them to recover.
Yet to accommodate this without being aware of what we are doing, and what energy we can afford to give away, is as senseless as trying to become a weightlifter, without knowing how to handle a strained muscle. If we make ourselves aware of the warning signs in both ourselves and others, we can keep the situation under control.
6. Warning signs of severe loss of energy
Loss of emotional energy, or even a blockage, is often shown as apparent exhaustion – not something that physical sleep will rectify, for it comes from an emotional base.
Nevertheless, the build up to this is perhaps more potent, as the person concerned is normally totally unaware of what is happening. On the contrary, they often speak with great excitement and rapidity, and even classify themselves as on a ‘High’.
However, we don’t have to look too far to see the difference between the enthusiastic rapport of one with a balanced attitude, and the continuous, uncontrolled chatter of another in a high emotional state. It is a common belief that the lights get brighter, just before they go out.
It is said that the eyes are mirrors of the soul and, by using natural eye contact with one another, we can build up a healthy exchange of energy.
Those refusing to make this eye contact, or alternatively forcing others to become locked in an unwavering gaze, are often either in severe need of energy, or unconsciously trying to retain a surplus of power for themselves.
Hence we naturally become wary of those who refuse to look us in the eye, yet can feel very disconcerted under the intense scrutiny of another.
7. Conserving energy
Recognising these things within ourselves or others is fine, provided we are willing or able to do something about it.
Averting the eyes from a too penetrating gaze, or allowing continuous one-sided chatter to flow over, rather than into us, is one way of conserving energy when we need it.
If loss is occurring, we will likely feel a gradual, very subtle dissipation of our own natural liveliness, and often a feeling of anxiety creeping into the stomach area, which appears to have no apparent cause. The other person, however, will likely become more and more lively by the minute.
There are many ways of conserving energy, such as building an imaginary brick wall or sheet of glass around us, surrounding ourselves in a golden egg of brilliant light, or visualising ourselves zipped up in an ordinary sleeping bag.
All methods have their value, but it is no use doing any of them unless we intend to do this discreetly, and with consideration and tact. The person likely feels bad enough already without being unintentionally hurt or offended.
8. Closing the door
When we say goodbye to a depressed friend, irritable relative, or stop the work we are doing that we find emotionally draining, then we must learn to close the door of our minds, and refuse to continue to hanker on the subject.
Thinking over and over things afterwards does not solve anything, and likely our energy has given the other person a healthy boost anyway – sending them away suitably refreshed, and maybe even leaving you with the problem?
And if the person continuously insists on your company, firm boundaries need to be set, so that – although you still remain a friendly listening ear – you make yourself available at a time suitable to you, rather than being at the beck and call of every event.
This is not selfish – it is sensible
Giving energy is a bit like giving blood, and time is needed to regain it, so we must try to relax a little and get our mind concentrating on other things.
There is nothing so certain to raise our energy levels than honest to goodness laughter, a healthy bath, or a brisk walk by the sea or in the countryside – in fact, doing what we enjoy most. Watching a good programme on TV, having fun with the children, or enjoying a satisfying meal, are also methods of equal value, and the pleasure of creative pursuits can be deeply restful.
Problems of emotional dependence
People sometimes argue that they use these methods, but they don’t seem to work. When this is the case, we may find we are caught up in what is known as ’emotional dependence’ of some sort.
Some partners, friends, or relatives, can affect us far more strongly because we are deeply emotionally involved with them and – peculiar as it may seem – this attachment can forge itself like an appendage onto the auric energy field of one or both parties.
Thus the mood of one can greatly affect the energy of the other.
In a healthy relationship a natural energy exchange takes place, allowing both parties to give and take when needed in an atmosphere of compatibility and consideration. However at certain times – normally through ill health or deep emotional trauma – one party can draw more than their fair share of energy without being able to return the favour, leaving the other exhausted and unable to prevent this from happening.
In most cases the situation adjusts quite quickly without ill effects, but there are some relationships where one party is constantly “feeding” off the other.
We all know of people who are naturally bright and lively, but seem to change and become quiet and lifeless whilst others with them take centre stage as life and soul of the party. Such relationships are not healthy, for one is constantly draining the other and could eventually lead to bullying and all sorts of difficulties as time goes on.
The sad thing about this sort of emotional dependence is that neither party is normally aware of it happening, and it can equally occur in any emotional relationship where one is more needy and self centred than the other.
So what, if anything, can we do about it?
Like attracts like
A healthy aura is our first defence against loss of energy, for it acts as a shield of protection around us. Unless the aura becomes pierced, there is little loss that can occur.
When people are closely emotionally attached they automatically ‘link into’ each other, and their auras are pierced by mutual co-operation. This can also happen through fear and desire – both these things are based on reactive emotion, and command much more power than we might realise.
We attract certain people to us because we are like them in some way. Something in ourselves reflects the need in another. Therefore, the higher the thoughts we have, the higher the thoughts of those attracted to us.
However, if we allow ourselves to be governed by uncontrolled over reactive behaviour, we leave ourselves wide open to attracting such things as guilt, jealousy, upset, anger, fear etc. In close emotional relationships we tend to be much less objective, and it is far easier to drag someone down, than it is to pull them up.
To link closely with others can be extremely rewarding, but to be reliant on their energy to sustain us in the long term is damaging to both parties.
The key to a healthy rapport in all relationships is good communication. Allowing both individuals freedom of expression in their most personal needs – and without one taking offence or berating the other. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if we cannot agree, and it is quite possible to learn a great deal from open discussion.
Unfortunately it is not easy to graft a rose onto a thistle, so often patience and infinite tact are also required. But if the link is strong enough old habits can be changed, and if one person starts the process, the other will invariably follow…..eventually!